Before I forget, the September 2010 issue of Toasted Cheese (issue 10:3) is up with another Snark Zone by me: “No Take Backs” (Or, Don’t Be an Asshat).
Author Archives: Theryn
Emotional Attachment
There is much more emotional attachment to the paper book than there is to the CD or the DVD. It is not logical — it’s visceral.
Actually, it is logical. (It might not matter to you, but the different response is totally logical.) You don’t sit across the room from a book; you interact with it—hold it, look at it, turn the pages, etc. A book is not just visual; it’s also tactile + olfactory (old book smell!) + a little bit aural (think: sound of the pages turning). You don’t interact with music and movie media in the same way. You listen to music. You watch/listen to movies. But you don’t smell or touch the medium while you’re watching or listening. You might not even be in the same room with the device delivering the movie or music. I started a post on this eons ago. I should finish it!
Out there by herself
The problem is that doubles is played by partners. Two people simply should not stand on the same side of the net. Part of the reason tennis is so compelling is that a player has to confront the fact that she’s out there by herself. A doubles player does not. Consider the Bryan brothers, the best doubles team playing, one of the best teams ever. One is left handed, one right; one is Bob and one is Mike. Otherwise, they pretty much share a life. The zygote did not fully split. They always have each other. They are never, ever alone.
(I have no explanation for the sudden quoting of tennis commentary. I don’t even watch tennis.)
Life can be disappointing
Tennis is aspirational, like certain other distractions in life, and most people who play it recreationally, and who may have started as kids, in their dreams always dreamed about becoming great singles players, not great doubles players. In their dreams they held up the singles trophy on Centre Court. Doubles reminds them that they’re no longer young, that life can be disappointing, that not all dreams come true, and that not anything is possible.
What makes them enjoyable
For me, to deny books their physical structure simply ignores far too much of what makes them enjoyable. The commitment they require, the way they force you into a state of simultaneous calm and focus — these are things I have yet to duplicate by any other means. Not to mention other factors that I’m terrified have been lost in the transition from paperback to screen: the mood it puts you in to carry a particular book in your bag all day, or the giddy/strange feeling of seeing your favorites on someone else’s shelves.
Making Stuff
All those years ago, I didn’t think it unusual to spend so much time making stuff. This had a lot to do with my grandmother, a woman who, when she was not preserving produce, was ceaselessly creating other kinds of goods. She spent her evenings at her handwork: The needlepoint and cross-stitch samplers she’d frame and hang on walls; she hooked rugs and sewed the odd quilt, made Christmas ornaments and wine cozies and doorstop covers. As a little kid, I followed her lead, pulling thick yarn through big-holed plastic patterns of butterflies and strawberries, later graduating to friendship bracelets, some small needlepoint and, briefly, origami.
Kindness
It’s a lovely moment at the end when [David] Letterman comes to the most human question of all, which is just this: “Boy, I feel like I want to do something for you. Can I do something for you?” And when [Michael] Douglas says, “Awwww, gimme a hug!” you realize that they’ve actually each offered a kindness: Letterman gave him the hug and Douglas let that be the thing that Dave could do for him.
Paternity leave
I am not unemployed, and I am not a stay-at-home dad. I’ve got a “real” job; I just haven’t gone to the office since last December. In total, I’ve spent 18 of the past 36 months on paternity leave here in Sweden, my adopted country, “off” work to care for my two kids. And, yes, I still get paid.
(Just thought it was interesting that he said this precisely this way. Of course, he’s a man, and it’s Sweden. Still, it reminded me how surprised I was to see women trying to avoid self-identifying the same way.)
Plate of Spaghetti
Heartbreak is every bit as much a psychological adaptation as is the compulsion to have sex with those other than our partners, and it throws a monster of a monkey wrench into the evolutionists’ otherwise practical polyamory. It’s indeed natural for people—especially men—to seek sexual variety. My partner once likened this to having the same old meal over and over again, for years on end; eventually you’re going to get some serious cravings for a different dish. But I reminded him that people aren’t the equivalent of a plate of spaghetti. Unfortunately, we have feelings.
(Previously.)
Boots
Those who like to believe they have picked themselves up by the bootstraps sometimes forget that they wouldn’t even have boots were it not for the women who came before. Listening to [Sarah] Palin, it’s almost impossible to believe that, as recently as 50 years ago, a woman at Harvard Law School could be asked by Dean Erwin Griswold to justify taking a spot that belonged to a man. In [Ruth Bader] Ginsburg’s lifetime, a woman could be denied a clerkship with Felix Frankfurter just because she was a woman. Only a few decades ago, Ginsburg had to hide her second pregnancy for fear of losing tenure. I don’t have an easy answer to the question of whether real feminists are about prominent lipsticky displays of “girl-power,” but I do know that Ginsburg’s lifetime dedication to achieving quiet, dignified equality made such displays possible.
The Remainder Table 