Category Archives: Quotes

physical and spiritual wellness are integral to a successful life

The concepts seem a little fuzzy at times, but the overarching thesis is that it is time to rethink the common wisdom of how to achieve success: sleep four hours a night, work 20 hours a day, see your family rarely and never admit the need for downtime. … The answer? To create a movement that embraces the idea that physical and spiritual wellness — from meditation to exercise to good nutrition — are integral to, not separate from, a successful life. … Another answer: To build workplaces where empathy and kindness are rewarded, in the somewhat corny terminology of the speakers, where a go-giver is as desirable as a go-getter.

Alina Tugend

four, maybe five hours of pure work

The common advice is, if you are a designer, you should be designing all day. Or making pottery, translating, illustrating, or writing all day.But here in the real world, you should shoot for four, maybe five hours of pure work. That is, writing from scratch, designing from a blank page, translating raw text, building brand new code, illustrating out of thin air.That’s all the human brain can muster. The holics who say they ‘work’ eighteen hours a day aren’t actually ‘working’ all that time.  Most of that will be foof like paperwork, email, phone calls, tinkering, fiddling, meetings. Of the ‘real’ work, the devilishly painful work, four hours is all you can do.

Walt Kania

ordinary can be extraordinary

Hey, that’s my line.

I wonder if there is any room for the ordinary any more, for the child or teenager — or adult — who enjoys a pickup basketball game but is far from Olympic material, who will be a good citizen but won’t set the world on fire. … Ordinary and normal smack too much of average. It seems that we all want to live in Garrison Keillor’s mythical Lake Wobegon, where all children are above average. … Most people … have talent in some areas, are average performers in many areas and are subpar in some areas. The problem is that we have such a limited view of what we consider an accomplished life that we devalue many qualities that are critically important. … How do we go back to the idea that ordinary can be extraordinary? How do we teach our children — and remind ourselves — that life doesn’t have to be all about public recognition and prizes, but can be more about our relationships and special moments? … Some people may fear that embracing the ordinary means that they are letting themselves and their children off easy. If it’s all right to be average, why try to excel? But the message isn’t to settle for a life on the couch playing Xbox (though, yes, playing Xbox is O.K. sometimes), but rather to to make sure you aspire to goals because they are important to you, not because you want to impress your parents, your community or your friends.

Alina Tugend

the risk that something unfinished will be published

“The peculiarity of being a writer,” [Joan] Didion says, “is that the entire enterprise involves the mortal humiliation of seeing one’s own words in print.” (Just by making this statement Didion clearly inserts herself, the writer, into the story.)

Yet even worse than publication, she says, is the risk that something unfinished will be published.

Adrienne LaFrance

omg. this. so much this.

Just tried to track down the article this piece is about [Joan Didion, Life and Letters, “Last Words,” The New Yorker, November 9, 1998, p. 74] and was foiled. None of the databases go back far enough (seriously what’s up with databases that only go back to 2002?). Will have to go to the VPL and track down the print version. SFU has its old issues on microfilm. Microfilm! How… 20th century.

ETA: So I actually went to the library and found the old New Yorkers in the stacks, located the right volume, and… some asshat who’s apparently never heard of a photocopier had torn out this essay. #fail

the writer’s job is to write about questions … not, however, to answer them

And then comes the final line: “I closed my eyes and pondered my next move.” My students often complain that this ending seems abrupt, unfinished. In the anthology we use, it comes at the very bottom of the page, and students often admit to having flipped to the next page, expecting the story to continue. Usually I avoid telling them that it does continue in the collection of linked stories, because doing so allows students to dismiss the ending as a concession to the larger narrative or as something other than an ending. Instead, I direct them to the letter by Chekhov in which he famously instructs A.S. Suvorin, “You are right in demanding that an artist approach his work consciously, but you are confusing two concepts: the solution of a problem and the correct formulation of a problem. Only the second is required of the artist.” In other words, the writer’s job is, first, to write about questions complex enough that they avoid simplistic answers or easy moralizing and, second, to demonstrate such questions with precision and accuracy. The writer’s job is not, however, to answer them. Answers are not only reductive, they’re also political, prescriptive, moralistic, and this undermines the efforts of such realists to be “visible nowhere.”

J.T. Bushnell

I’ve written before about my difficulty with endings (and how this is likely a key reason why I have several three-quarters-finished novels). Lately, I’ve noticed that often even when I think a book is very good, I find the ending disappointing compared to the rest of the book, so I’m starting to think that perhaps ending-angst is not uncommon amongst writers.

Before I go on, I’m going to pause and quote myself. I was going to excerpt, but wth, here’s the whole thing:

Thought the 1st: If it’s not a mystery, the reader figuring out the ending before the end isn’t that important. It’s more about how you get there.

Thought the 2nd: I have a similar problem (I think) with novels wherein I cycle through various ideas for endings, but can never settle on one b/c each choice feels too arbitrary. (am I forcing it? is this the ‘right’ ending?) Whereas with short stories, I tend not to worry as much about the structure, and just write till the story feels done, then fix any issues in subsequent drafts. IOW, w/ short stories I don’t plan out the ending, I write to it. (I also finish stories, novels not so much Wink hmm. …aha moment…)

Thought the 3rd: If you’re bored with writing it, maybe it really is boring? That is, maybe everything is too figured out. Maybe you need more mystery, more uncertainty about where things are going to keep you interested–and maybe that’ll also make for a more interesting story in the end? Maybe think less about where you’re going than where you are in the story right now.

Thought the 4th: Maybe the ending doesn’t need to be ‘satisfying’ (all loose ends tied up, everything made clear). I’ve been thinking about the season finale of The Killing. On the surface, the show was a season-long police procedural. So, when the season ended without the killer being unambiguously identified, viewers were all up in arms about how they’d been ripped off, blah blah blah. So you might say, oh, the ending was failure. Except… everyone who watched was talking about it–precisely because the ending was ambiguous.

The first time I read The Grapes of Wrath, I hated the ending. That’s not an ending, I said. The book just stops! I did feel ripped off. But now, I see how wrong I was. Even though it’s been a long time since I’ve read it, and in the interim I’ve read many books whose endings I’ve forgotten, I remember that ending.

Thought the 5th: Maybe this would be a good topic for an article!

Well, that was two years ago and I still haven’t written an article on endings, but I think I’m getting closer. Anyway.

I like this approach to endings—end with a possibility, a fork in the road, a decision to be made, rather than ending with the decision because it eliminates the arbitrariness of picking choice A, B, or C  (which, ugh). It’s not up to the writer to decide. It’s up to the reader.

If the author decides, then that choice becomes the de facto ‘right’ choice. There’s nothing for readers to think about, to discuss, at the story level. Any ‘discussion’ is therefore focused on the author and their choice (UPOP if readers agree with the decision the author made, flamewars if they disagree).

If the reader decides, it allows different readers to make different choices. There is no one ‘right’ choice. Discussion is necessarily focused on the story, rather than the author. There is no one right answer, only stronger or weaker arguments.

Also, now I want to re-read The Joy Luck Club.

happiness becomes more and more about being content

Research suggests (and my own experience has shown me) that what it means to be “happy” slowly evolves into something very different from our youthful idea of happiness.   Happiness for the young is largely about anticipating the joys of new accomplishments … As we grow older, we find that happiness becomes more and more about being content in our current circumstances, and hanging on to what we’ve already got[.]

Heidi Grant Halvorson

Be the writer and not the daughter

Sari Botton: My number one obstacle is the fear of upsetting and offending my parents by revealing things about me they’d rather not know, or by revealing things about them…

Melissa Febos: I guess the writer in me has more clout than the daughter in me. It wins every fucking time.

Sari Botton: I need to choose between being a writer and a daughter. I know that I’m eventually going to be the writer and not the daughter. I’m hoping that I won’t get disowned or I won’t [break] my father’s heart.

Conversations with Writers Braver than Me #15

I actually welcomed my editor’s thoughts

Melissa: It must have been a very, very difficult task to edit this book. To have to guide you in how to tell this intensely personal story.

Emily Rapp: I actually welcomed my editor’s thoughts because she’s a genius and she totally got what I was doing. We had a weird mind-meld.

Anonymous Guest: Which one was harder, writing it or editing it?

Emily Rapp: Writing. Absolutely.

The Rumpus Book Club Discussion with Emily Rapp