I resolve to…
- figure out how to buy jeans I can wear longer than 15 minutes without being able to take them off like they’re sweatpants (why do they stretch so much? how am I supposed to know what size to buy if fitting room fit =/= real life fit? #thingsishouldhavefiguredoutbynow)
- subtweet more (the witty kind, obvs.)
- get a new phone so I can annoy people with emojis
The Remainder Table 
If you figure out the jeans thing, bottle and sell the answer. I’d buy it.
I know, right? It’s so annoying. My current favorite jeans are not actually denim. Maybe that’s the real answer.
I share your frustration with jeans. A couple of months ago, when I went for an eight mile hike with my mom and brother, I didn’t think I would need a belt. By the time we got back to our car, I felt like a teenager wearing his jeans around his knees.
gah, yes. I have to keep reminding myself “you cannot wear jeans without a belt.”