12: The Cottage Builder’s Letter

The Cottage Builder's LetterThe Cottage Builder’s Letter by George Murray

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

From the Book Shop in Penticton.

Read in April 2013.

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Since it was poetry month, I thought I’d read some poetry. This one’s been on my to-read shelf for a while (how long? not sure. I think it’s probably from my 2009 trip to the Book Shop). You may be familiar with George Murray as the proprietor of the (sadly no-longer-updated) book blog Bookninja.

Most of the poems in The Cottage Builder’s Letter are narrative poems (stories in poetry), many of them multi-part. A number of the poems are semi-formal in construction, e.g. poems consisting of all 3-line stanzas or all 2-line stanzas, poems where a phrase/word sequence is repeated in each line or stanza.

This was one of those books that I wanted to like more than I did. The writing was good; the poems skillfully composed, but for whatever reason, I didn’t really connect with them. Maybe it was that there were too many unfamiliar references. I’m not sure.

I did like this one, especially the last stanza:

LIBRARY

Maybe you know how
to live in a way
that isn’t just about breathing,
but I don’t —
so please: reserve this
space for me.

(Rest here a moment
without thinking)

In what manner you choose
to keep your books:
I know this little part of you,
hold it sacred —
it’s your other secrets,
if any, that are not safe with me.

—The Cottage Builder’s Letter, 55

11: Why is Always About You?

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of NarcissismWhy Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This one was passed along to me.

Read in March/April 2013.

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Part I describes the 7 deadly sins of the title:

  1. Shamelessness (shame = personal flaw)
  2. Magical Thinking (fantasy world)
  3. Arrogance (value = relative)
  4. Envy (need to be superior)
  5. Entitlement (expect to get what they want)
  6. Exploitation (lack of empathy)
  7. Bad Boundaries (violate others’ boundaries)

The boundaries one is worth thinking about—helps to understand why certain gifts can be so uncomfortable—these types of gifts are not about doing something nice, really thinking about the receiver, but about molding them in the shape of the giver (narcissist).

Part II discusses where narcissism comes from. Hotchkiss claims narcissism originates in toddlerhood—occurs when child doesn’t develop healthy sense of self. Adolescent narcissism is also a normal stage, but people can get stuck there. Children of narcissists often become narcissists themselves; those who don’t are shame-driven, drawn to people who resemble their narcissistic parent(s).

Part III discusses strategies for defending yourself from narcissists: know yourself, embrace reality, set boundaries, cultivate reciprocal (i.e. healthy) relationships. I thought this section wasn’t as helpful as it could have been. Sort of, “yes, and…?”

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot you can do to help/change narcissists because the first rule of being a narcissist is not admitting you’re a narcissist. It’s like Fight Club. So someone you know is a narcissist, you have two choices: a) flee! or b) tolerate them. (Here’s the moment where you wonder “I don’t think I’m a narcissist. Does that mean I am one?” Well, if you’re questioning whether you are, you’re probably not. Self-awareness!)

Part IV describes narcissism in different scenarios (e.g. love, work, family). Narcissists, of course, consider themselves “special” so if you know someone like that (and you probably do), they might be a narcissist. Read Part I and find out.

Part V was about preventing narcissism.

Decent overview, but I wasn’t thrilled with her conservative agenda. If y’all just believed in Almighty God, society wouldn’t be overrun with narcissists, don’t ya know? 🙄

Do you love your writing space? Tell me about it!

Writers! Tell us about your writing space.

We are working on an article about writers and their writing spaces and we need your input.

Where do you write? Do you have a dedicated home office with a desk and a chair? Is your “office” tucked in a corner of another room–or a closet? Do you write at your dining room table, on the sofa, or in bed? Do you prefer to write in public spaces–coffeeshop? library? outdoors?

Do you have a window with an inspiring view? Have you filled a blank wall with an inspiration board or photos? Is your space minimalist or filled with talismans? What do you love about your writing space? What would you change if you could?

Send a photo of your writing space along with a paragraph or two describing it and its influence on your writing to beaver[at]toasted-cheese.com with the subject line “AB – My Writing Space.”

If there is enough interest, this may become a series.

Awesomesauce

I’ve been feeling a bit meh this past week because it’s annual progress report time and I’m still not done The Dissertation. On the bright side, I think one more semester should do it (in terms of finishing the draft).

Anyway, I went to campus to drop off the aforementioned report and whilst there checked my mailbox. In it were my TA evaluations from past semesters. And in amongst the inevitable “too sarcastic”* and “hard marker” (if anything, I’m too soft, so that remark always amuses me) comments were so many positive comments, the most enthusiastic comments I think I’ve ever received from students. Warm fuzzy! 🙂

*Example of “too sarcastic” thing I might actually say: “So! I’m sure everyone’s done this week’s reading!” {implied “not!” due to past experience, but with much enthusiasm and the secret hope that they might all say “Yes!” I’m an optimistic cynic.} I know! So mean, right?

I don’t think this is a me problem specifically; I think it’s a Gen-X/Gen-Y generational difference. It comes up online quite a bit. Whenever I see Gen-Ys complaining about someone being too “mean” or “sarcastic,” inevitably the person being discussed is Gen-X and just as inevitably, what a Gen-Yer interprets as “being mean” I interpret as joking/teasing. Gen-Yers just have different expectations than Gen-Xers. Gen-Xers are snarky. Gen-Yers are adorkable. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In fact, snark might be the key characteristic in defining Gen-X. Hmm. Perhaps I should code for snark. Ooh! Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could work snark into my title?! Yes. I must make that happen.

Hmm. aykb, I can relate anything to Seinfeld, but now it seems I can also relate anything to The Dissertation. Seinfeld still sneaked in there, though 😉

Spring 2013 – Weeks 14 + 15

What I did this week:

  • Read/skimmed + took notes on 3 lit review pbooks. Eliminated one. (DONE! with print books, anyway)
  • Polished up overview tables + inserted into project.
  • Updated lists.
  • Backed up project.
  • Returned all-but-one SFU books (kept the one on coding).
  • Read 3 + took notes on 2 ebooks.
  • Page 69 data (converted all 112 to words-only + did word-count analysis).
  • Worked on revising title. (Yes, this is important b/c I had another mini-breakthrough re: focus. It’s an ecology, not a history. Which, forehead slap. But you know. Sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.) Getting happier with sub-title. Still in need of linkbait main title 😉

Worth mentioning, because it’s on-topic. Maybe it’s because I’m a visual-kinesthetic learner, but it’s so, so satisfying to see library books move from ‘unread’ stack to ‘read’ stack and then exit the house! I’ll miss that feeling as I move onto the remainder of my reading (pdfs of articles — more convenient, but not nearly as satisfying).

10: Cockroach

CockroachCockroach by Rawi Hage

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

From the fall 2012 VPL book sale.

Read in March 2013.

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The protagonist is an immigrant living in Quebec. He had a job at a restaurant as a dishwasher, then was promoted to busboy, but he quit when the maitre’d told him he was “too brown” to be a waiter. He’s now on welfare.

He tried to commit suicide by hanging himself from a tree, but the branch broke. He’s currently in court-ordered therapy with a psychiatrist, Genevieve. In his sessions with Genevieve, he talks about his past and his regrets, and these scenes foreshadow the book’s climax.

All of his friends/acquaintances are also immigrants, but they don’t share his background. Most of them, like his frenemy Reza and Shohreh, who he sort of has a relationship with, are Persian/Iranian, but he isn’t. His name and home country are never revealed. (‘Lira’ is mentioned, but this is a generic term, like ‘dollar.’) However, it’s possible he’s Lebanese, since Hage immigrated to Canada from Lebanon.

He imagines himself as a cockroach. This is partly a metaphor for how he sees himself (a low-life, a pest, but resilient), but also being a cockroach allows him to explore places he couldn’t as a human. One question for the reader to decide is how much of what he does as a cockroach is real and how much is imaginary.

He’s kind of an anti-hero. He’s not a ‘good’ person (yes, the dreaded unlikable character!), but I still empathized with him.

Cockroach is funny, in a dark humor / black comedy kind of way. In what comes as no surprise (at least to me!), there are drug-induced hallucinations. Note to self: if you have the urge to write an “I’m on drugs!” scene, just say no.

Also, it’s quite scatological. You’ve been warned!

VPL Fall Book Sale

9: The Lonely Voice

The Lonely Voice: A Study of the Short StoryThe Lonely Voice: A Study of the Short Story by Frank O’Connor

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Borrowed from the VPL.

Read in March 2013.

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Some notes from the introduction:

  • “The novel is bound to be a process of identification between the reader and the character.” (16)
  • But this is not true of short stories: “There is no character here with whom the reader can identify himself, unless it is that nameless horrified figure who represents the author … the short story has never had a hero. What it has instead is a submerged population group,” (17) i.e. outlawed figures, fringes of society.
  • “there is in the short story at its most characteristic something we do not often find in the novel–an intense awareness of human loneliness” (18-19).
  • The differences between novel and short story are more ideological—with respect to national attitude toward society—than formal. The novel = civilized society, community. The short story = “remote from the community–romantic, individualistic, and intransigent” (20).
  • the short story “is organic form, something that springs from a single detail and embraces past, present, and future” (21)
  • the storyteller “must be much more of a writer, much more of an artist” (22) than the novelist—great novelists can be inferior writers; great storytellers are generally not inferior writers.
  • “the form of the novel is given by the length;  in the short story the length is given by the form” (26)
  • “the difference between the short story and the novel is not one of length. It is a difference between pure and applied storytelling” (26)
  • short story = static, single episode, life telescoped. novel = episodic.

We have been told that the novel is dead, and I am sure that someone has said as much for the short story. I suspect that the announcement may prove a little premature … the novel and the short story are drastic adaptations of a primitive art form to modern conditions—to printing, to science, and individual religion–and I see no possibility of or reason for their supersession except in a general supersession of all culture by mass civilization. (43) [dated June 21, 1962]

The rest of the book is an analysis of work by various short story writers. There are some insights here and there, but also so many racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic stereotypes. I found it hard to take. The Katherine Mansfield chapter was especially terrible. So yeah. If you pick this up, you’ve been warned. The introduction was interesting, though.

8: Heave

HeaveHeave by Christy Ann Conlin

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

From the Fall 2012 VPL book sale.

Read in February/March 2013.

View all my reviews

Heave opens with Seraphina “Serrie” Sullivan running away from her wedding. This scene frames the story; the rest is told in flashback, starting from Serrie’s childhood.

I found the voice kind of hard to get into at the beginning. More drug-addled musings. Yep, it’s a theme.

At age 20, Serrie is in 3rd year university. She’s homesick (even though she’s only in Halifax, a short distance from home). Her bffs are Dearie and Elizabeth. Serrie is an alcoholic, like her dad, and has been since she was 14. She has a professor who’s kind to her, who notices she’s missing class, and tells her she should be thinking about grad school. Her brother Percy is doing an MA in Toronto (i.e. he’s perfect).

Serrie overdoses and ends up in the psychiatric hospital. She isn’t depressed; she’s young for her age. She doesn’t want to be an adult because it seems life gets worse the older you get.

Martha, Serrie’s mom, is depressed. She’s lamenting giving up her dreams and makes Serrie feel bad for being young / still having dreams. Cyril, Serrie’s dad, is oblivious. He’s too busy collecting outhouses. Yes, you read that right.

Anyway, when she gets out of the psych hospital, she gets a job in a pie factory (really!), where she meets Hans, this rich German dude.

You know how terrible things are always befalling certain people? And at first you’re like, “omg! that’s so awful!” but after the eleventy-billionth dramatic thing in a week/month/year, you’re like, “wtf dude, what’s with the constant drama? I haven’t had this much drama in my entire life!” Except you don’t actually say that because everyone would give you the side-eye and call you out for being mean and ostracize you even though they’re thinking the exact same thing. Well, that’s kind of what this book felt like. There was some good stuff here, but omg. Drama overload.

Well into the book there’s a big reveal, but it’s foreshadowed throughout. Watch for it!

I will say, with the framing device, most of the book in flashback, girl going crazy because she doesn’t want to grow up, this reminded me of The Language of the Goldfish. The difference being TLotG is a skinny novella, and Heave is a 300+ page epic.

VPL Fall Book Sale